Good evening everyone!
I didn’t mean for this post to come so late, but I was playing guitar in our youth band for two overflow Easter services, so we were gone all morning. I had such a fun and refreshing time going to Mass twice, catching up with people I hadn’t seen in a while between services, eating chocolate bunnies (yes, I’ve had lots of chocolate today, and I’m not ashamed!), and spending time with family.
I’m still very disappointed with myself, not preparing spiritually as I wanted to for Easter. Like at all. I didn’t progress much in Lent, and Easter at first just kind of…came. It didn’t seem any different from any other day. Going to Mass and celebrating it with my youth friends changed that a little, but I’m still internally struggling. I feel kind of hypocritical, negative. I’m very positive right now, but I know I could’ve done better during Lent like I said I would.
*sigh.* But I know I can do better. That’s why I hope on Resurrection Day for anyone who feels like they’ve strayed from their relationship with God, or have wandered unintentionally off the path, that they find Christ resurrected in themselves. For Christ is always in us, but sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. Faith isn’t based on feeling solely, of course, but sometimes it can be hard to push that aside and remember that He is in us always. Or, He wants to be in us, but we’re blocking Him from residing.
I know Easter means for most of us the Lord rising from the dead. He has conquered the unconquerable: Death. Sin. Evil. But I also take it to mean that this time should be a time of coming back to Him, of reviving our love and pulling ourselves out of the graves we’ve built ourselves from lack of effort, from intentional sin, from doubt and troubled desires.
If you’re doubting yourself, remember: you can do this! You are forgiven! Your sins have been forgiven and you have been saved. You can bounce back. As C.S Lewis said:
Do not let the heavy burden of sins conquer you.
I didn’t mean for this post to be semi-negative like, but I needed to get it down in writing. But I’m still fueled by the powerful positivity that of course reigned today in both Mass services. God is good and He will always reveal Himself, and today He revealed Himself in the people around me, in the Scripture., and in the Mass. He is Alive!
Tomorrow is a new day, and I thank the Lord He has given me this one.
God bless and Happy Easter everyone! I hope all of you are doing well, whether in mental or physical or spiritual (the most important of the three) health.
Pax in Christo (He is Risen!)