Happy Monday everyone! It’s been quite a while since I posted anything and for that I am deeply sorry. NaPo honestly was a lot, having been posting every single day and I wanted to give both myself and the reader a bit of a break from the influx of posts. At the same time, I was studying for my AP US History exam. I took the exam on May 6th and I think I did fairly well? It was my first ever AP exam and there was a lot of material to review and practice on. I don’t think I did well enough to earn a 5, but I’m praying for at least a 4. How many of you took AP exams? Are you glad they’re over? Let me know below!
Anyway, I’m a little behind in school in my other courses so I’m trying to catch up as best as I can so I’m not doing school well into the summer. (I’ll be doing an English course probably, so I can take more English AP classes during the school year!)
With school coming to a close, my life is going to get a lot more serious real quick. I know Junior year leaves me with one more year of school left, with plenty of time to make decisions and focus in my studies and continue to develop my interests, but the fact I have to start looking at schools in August/September is a little worrisome. I’ve never been good with making concrete decisions, and there are so many schools and so many interests I have! How can I narrow it down to one or two or even three schools and so on?
I’ll be okay, I know that. There’s still plenty of time–but that time seriously goes by way too fast. I keep asking myself at the beginning of every month: “How is it this month already?” How is it nearly mid-2016 already? I can’t comprehend it! 😛
Other thoughts continue to invade, though they don’t have to right now. College is the bridge between now and my future life. It’s going to shape me into who I will be when I leave, not just academically but judgementally. I have to be more responsible in college, I won’t always have someone making all the decisions for me.
With driving lessons still underway and usually being a homebody, I just don’t feel ready yet. But this is only the end of sophomore year. I can do this.
Because I have God.
My grandma gave me a necklace last year that has an inscription on the oval piece of jewelry attached the to chain. It says:
Let your faith be bigger than your fear.
I don’t know who penned that quote, but it’s immensely powerful in reminding me where I need to place my trust in. God knows all things. He can do all things. He made you, and He loves you, and He will always be there to guide you. You just have to ask with a sense of seriousness. You have to be willing to make sacrifices in order to receive from Him what you desired.
One time I was overly stressed with a situation in my youth group. I was so worried about it, I couldn’t sleep. I knew I couldn’t control the situation, which is why I had anxiety over it so much. Suddenly I felt myself saying, “Lord, I put this in your hands now.” And lo and behold, I actually felt a weight being lifted off my shoulders. I knew what I could and could not control, and there was a sort of clarity that detached me from the situation and showed me the grand scheme of things. I knew how I needed to act.
This is an example of relying on God. C.S Lewis once said, “You may forget that at every moment you are totally dependent on God.” We really are–He continues to let us live, He guides us to the places we go (though we may not realize it) for the purpose of learning things and meeting people and all the while developing yourself into this person you are today. He sees all things–causes and results. Before and after. We are just living frame by frame, and each decision we make results in a new frame, which causes another frame. We have to look to God because we can’t see what lies beyond the frame we are living in at the moment.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
I need to memorize these verses to the point they are ingrained in me. We cannot rely simply on ourselves to do things, and we don’t have to feel like we have to forge through “uncharted” territory alone. Look to God and know He will be there in your time of suffering and in your time of need.
I’m still going to be nervous, worried, uncertain–but I have God to fall back on, and I have God to strengthen me and guide me.
Any of you have words of advice for the upcoming school year as a junior? 🙂
God bless and I’m so sorry for being gone without notice.
Pax in Christo,