Rant to Calm My Nerves

I guess this is a hiatus post, also?

I talked to you guys about how I am participating in NaPo, and I also know some of you have tagged me to complete some different blogging tags, and I also have some ideas for some cool posts coming up. But I don’t know if I can do any of it.

So AP exams are less than a month away. And I’m not even done with any of my AP classes yet. AP Micro, I have a few lessons left, but then I have to start cracking down on my review book and attend AP review sessions, because there’s SO much to remember. I also have to practice drawing all of the graphs without any references to be prepared for the exam, and holy guacamole there are a lot of graphs.

AP English, I have a few lessons left, but they all pertain to this nonfiction book I have read for the class, and each lesson is very time-intensive because it requires research, projects, and lengthy assignments about my book. And then, of course, I have to crack down on my review book and practice writing timed essays, which I hate timed essays LOL.

And then there’s AP US Government…I don’t think I will be prepared for that exam. I have two more units left of the class (30% of the class left to complete) with 3 weeks left and OK can I cry thank you very much. In addition, I really only know the bare minimum of the subject matter in the class. The class is kind of outdated, and the textbook is way too time-intensive when I’m trying to balance it against other classes, so I’ve skimmed it. Trying to stay calm, because this class will be my first AP exam of my AP exam schedule. So not only am I rushing to finish, BUT IT’S THE FIRST AP EXAM I HAVE TO TAKE, AND IT’S IN THE FIRST WEEK OF EXAMS.

On top of that hot mess, I have the ACT I’m taking tomorrow. And you can bet your bottom dollar I didn’t prepare because I totally made the mistake of scheduling the SAT and the ACT back to back, and the SAT drained my brain for a little bit, and I was trying to catch up in my classes. So basically, I’m trying to have a good attitude and do my best tomorrow, but deep down I know it’s a waste of time. Not only have I already taken the ACT once, but I plan on taking it senior year, too and I’m going to bomb it tomorrow (OK so that was really negative, but just trying to be brutally honest with myself). So this just unnecessarily adds to the April stress.

In conclusion, I’ve lost my marbles. All of them. They have rolled away NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN.

I know that once the third week of May rolls around, I will be in heaven. No more school except one easy technology class. I’ll have free time to start looking at the application process for the colleges I’m interested in. I will have time to properly prepare for both the SAT and the ACT the next time around. I will actually have time dedicated to playing my guitar (that’s right, I’ve been neglecting my music studies ;-;), exercising, and really just breathing.

I’m physically, emotionally and mentally drained. I’m trying to lean on God during this time. But man, I want to just break down. I want to give up. But I can’t. There are days where I feel like I’m in way over my head, and no matter how often I tell myself I can take care of it, I just lose control and starting getting discouraged.

If you could please pray for my little brain, I’d appreciate it. In the mean time, this blog will largely be inactive. I’ll try to give NaPo the attention it deserves, but it won’t be frequent. I really envy 2016 Grace. She posted a poem all 30 days. But that was because she only had one AP class. That was because she didn’t take the ACT or the SAT. That was because she was two years away from college.

Now she’s one year away.

Thank you for putting up with me and my gibberish. Just trying to blow off steam before I dive back into my hectic school life. I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me. Just gotta repeat that over in my head.

Have a good weekend, everyone 🙂

Pax in Christo,

Grace

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