Imagine for a minute that you are perfect.

No flaws stain you.
No promises are broken.
No syllables scathe.
No words are untrue.
No hair is out of place.
No thought is out of place.
No temper is flared.
No mistake you make.

I have dreamt of being perfect.
I have whittled away myself,
I have stretched myself thin.
I have screamed in my head,
I have leaked tears
seeking how to be perfect.

One neat stroke without a smudge.
I can’t find it on myself.
One pure thought without a temptation.
I can’t find it in myself.
One smooth path without a roadblock.
I can’t find it by myself.

So I imagine.
I design.
I create.

Submerged in fantasy,
I am no longer my tormented soul.
Fusing into another form,
I become scripted.

Granting myself everything I want,
Removing myself from anything I don’t.

Erase one slip-up,
Backspace one move.

Haven’t you felt the same?
Didn’t you ever wonder?
Don’t you ever pretend?

I never dared question
What defined perfect.
I guess I don’t still,
If I’m still tied up
In my warped visions.

Too consumed,
You will not see me anymore.
You will carry on without knowing.
Falling back,
I am swallowed by my shame.
I have no idea what I am.

If only you could make me believe otherwise.
But whoever could?
I will remain mute,
For anyone who even cares to know.

I traversed one road
for far too long.
Turning around
is pointless.
This whole quest for perfection
is pointless.

And yet I keep walking it,



I’m Back!

Hey everyone! Happy May!

I know my blog has been inactive for a little while…


Actual footage of my blog

but I am finally finished with all of my classes and my AP exams! I took my last one this past Friday, and I have never felt a weight lifted off my shoulder so fast. I really apologize for having to put the breaks on this blog, but from here until September (yep, senior year!) this blog is getting allll the attention it deserves.

I’m going to be writing poetry and prose again, working on my music and practicing classical guitar, going out of town and actually visiting places, and most importantly READING books. I know I shouldn’t have let school take over my life, but it really did. But now that it’s over, I can really be an artist and blogger again. I have so many cool posts lined up (from posts about TV shows to music to writing tips, etc.) and I am so excited to work on them and share them with you all.

This summer will also be full of ACT and SAT prep, college hunting and visiting, and thinking about the future. My last year of high school is this fall, and I can’t believe it– it really crept up on me. I can only ask for your prayers that I give this last year my all before “graduating” (ya know, since I’ll only be getting a transcript saying I finished high school lol #homeschooledlife).

And I’ll also be taking a web design class over the summer, so maybe it’ll help me work on organizing and improving this blog! I’m super excited for that class, y’all. Maybe I’ll even create some posts with tips and cool information I’ve learned from the class to share with my readers.

Anyway, this is just a post for y’all to know I’m alive and well and extremely excited for this summer. Thank you guys for sticking with me, I really appreciate it. I’m going to be better about being active on everyone else’s blogs too, now that I have more time and focus on the blog.

How have you guys been? Anything new and exciting? Are you excited for the summer? (yes, I know it’s only the third week of May, but it’ll be June faster than you know it!)

God bless!


I’ll also be spending time catching up on Parks and Rec. I just started it and I LOVE IT. 

Pax in Christo,